Temp Job Funny Stories Fart Noise

• #1

Anyone else have any "Temps" working in your office?

We've had some really great ones that have gone on to be FT associates, but we have one here now who constantly talks about all of her maladies....carpel tunnel, hip replacements, knee problems, slip and fall accidents, etc....

If she wants to be hired FT, she probably shouldn't be so forthcoming with that info, but that doesn't seem to stop her from sharing her stories. I just say "Ahh..." and keep my comments to myself.

Anyone else have any interesting temps in their offices this summer?

Maleficent13

<font color=blue>Heh Heh, you're all gonna die<br>

• #2

I don't need interesting temps...I have enough interesting permanent employees.

Regina

<font color=teal>Maybe I'll "accidentally" drop a

• #3

We had a real nut job at an office I worked at a couple of years ago. My favorite moment was when we were working on a big project. She stopped by my desk and I explained to her that she needed to make some corrections. What did she do? SHE THREW THE WORK UP IN THE AIR AND LAID DOWN ON THE FLOOR!! There she was, just lying there and I'm thinking "ooookaaay, did I kill her??"

snoopy

<font color=green>This space for rent<br><font col

• #4

We don't have temps. I wish we did, we could easily replace the secretary who does virtually NOTHING on the days she's here, but most days she's not here. Her excuses for not coming into work range from falling off the toilet seat and cracking her tail bone to getting almost all the way to work and realizing she had one black shoe and one navy shoe on. Oh, she also asked our VP if it was 9am EST would that be 9am in D.C.? Oh, and once she sprayed Lysol on a co-workers lunch because she said she didn't like the way it smelled.

We keep her around for entertainment value, I guess.

snoopy

<font color=green>This space for rent<br><font col

• #5

WebmasterRegina said:

We had a real nut job at an office I worked at a couple of years ago. My favorite moment was when we were working on a big project. She stopped by my desk and I explained to her that she needed to make some corrections. What did she do? SHE THREW THE WORK UP IN THE AIR AND LAID DOWN ON THE FLOOR!! There she was, just lying there and I'm thinking "ooookaaay, did I kill her??"

Daxx

<font color=red>I can tie a knot in a cherry stem

• #6

When I worked in advertising, we had this temp. receptionist - a young (25ish) male. Every time he'd page someone, he'd use this cheesy game-show host voice, making it sound like you were the next contestant on The Price is Right ... "Jooohn Smiiiith ... call ex-teeeen-shun two teeeen". Or "AAAAAAAAAAmy Waaalker! You're wanted it the coooonference rooooom!"

I'd often have to call to see if pkgs. were at the front desk for me and every time he'd answer, he'd make me feel like I was waiting to find out if I had won a car or a chicken behind door number 3.

Very annoying. I suppose it was his ambition to either become a game show host or drive everyone crazy.

ETA - just thought of another temp filling in for the CEO's secretary at the same ad agency. She put together this big info. packet along w/a check that she paperclipped to it for a client. Well, she sealed the big manilla envelope and put postage on it (using a postage meter). Then, she realized that she forgot to put something to the package. So, she took the package to the employee lounge and put it in the microwave, hoping to "steam" the envelope open. Well, all she did was set the microwave on fire b/c of the paperclip inside the envelope. We all had to evacuate the building b/c the fire alarm went off. When asked why she was microwaving the envelope, she said she forgot to add something in and didn't want to waste the postage. I guess she never thought of slitting the envelope open and taping it back up.

• #9

snoopy said:

We don't have temps. I wish we did, we could easily replace the secretary who does virtually NOTHING on the days she's here, but most days she's not here. Her excuses for not coming into work range from falling off the toilet seat and cracking her tail bone to getting almost all the way to work and realizing she had one black shoe and one navy shoe on. Oh, she also asked our VP if it was 9am EST would that be 9am in D.C.? Oh, and once she sprayed Lysol on a co-workers lunch because she said she didn't like the way it smelled.

We keep her around for entertainment value, I guess.

ha ha.......so funny Snoopy!

Rhonda922

Freakin Family Guy is Freakin Awesome!<br><font co

• #11

Wow! Oh my gosh, I thought I had it bad at my job. We're on our second temp because the first one ended up getting a permanent job here. The first one was the biggest goofball I had ever seen. Now the new girl has brought a lot of problems with her. I just said to someone the other day "where do they get these &%$@ temps from?!?!"

• #12

greenyskp said:

I used to be a temp. Now im a full-time employee. I worked for a man,who owned his own business,who asked me for.... well... i cant say it. Suffice it to say it wasnt intercourse Anyway, his business got closed down because of me. Turns out the police came and did a raid after i told my boss at the temp agenecy, and they found child pornogrophy and now hes in jail!

Yep. Just doing my part to keep criminals at bay.

Oh my word!

DisneyDmbNut

<img src="http://www.wdwinfo.com/images/silver.jpg

• #13

Well, I never worked with the temps because they were covering for me when I was on maternity leave, but my boss went through 10 of them in the 8 weeks I was gone! One made it 4 hours before he told her to leave....LOL!

• #14

At my prior company, we brought in a temp (via a temp agency) as a receptionist at our office.

When the lady walks in one of the first things she said is, "I like being a receptionist as long as I don't have to answer phones."

Did she think she was going to be like a hostess in a restaurant and direct people to their chairs.

Not sure what the temp agency had told her re what her duties would be with us.

• #15

We don't use temps any more.....we used to for stacking product in the warehouse, etc. We had one that when it rained he would wrap himself in shrink wrap. One whose first name was Excellent, last name Character....middle initial was M and supposedly was for Magnificent. When the company decided not to use temps any more they told them that they could hire them full time = better pay, benefits, insurance, etc.....some of these guys had been here a while. Only thing was they had to be able to pass the drug test, they were told this about 2 months in advance.....out of 6 only 1 passed.

drgnfly30

<font color=deeppink>Take my advice, never pay ful

• #16

Not a recent story but a few years back we had a temp that was actually with us for quite some time... one morning in walks 4 US Marshalls who proceed to escort her out the doors... turns out she was a fugitive wanted for murdering her BF in Florida. Yikes! We've since started using a different Temp company that we hope uses a better screening process!

gdulaney

<font color=deeppink>Another Konk Kooler please...

• #17

snoopy said:

We don't have temps. I wish we did, we could easily replace the secretary who does virtually NOTHING on the days she's here, but most days she's not here. Her excuses for not coming into work range from falling off the toilet seat and cracking her tail bone to getting almost all the way to work and realizing she had one black shoe and one navy shoe on. Oh, she also asked our VP if it was 9am EST would that be 9am in D.C.? Oh, and once she sprayed Lysol on a co-workers lunch because she said she didn't like the way it smelled.

We keep her around for entertainment value, I guess.

She sprayed Lysol on somebody's lunch?!? NO WAY!!!!!!

We had a temp in to replace a co-worker who was on FMLA (baby). She was asked to make file folders and she created "special" labels for the back of each file folder stating Created for xxx Especially by xxx . How bizarre is that?

Ginny

• #18

I had one girl in for only 29 days. Out of that time frame, I had 26 pages of documentation on why she was fired. One reason (you don't have enough time to read all the others) was that she told a post-op patient who required our caregiver services for 24-7 with varying shifts, "I can't get someone out to your home tonight to help you for the night shift. Hopefully nothing will happen to you until the lady who is to arrive at 8:00 am shows up".

And then the big idiot could not imagine why she was fired. What a kook!

• #19

My dad hired a "woman" who was a complete nut job- She wasnt a temp but I had to learn the job and babysit her while she attempted to accomplish something every day (and then redo it correctly).

My dad is a doctor and her main responsibility (which should have taken 20 min but always took most of the day) was to confirm the following day's appointments. We are both sitting on opposite sides of a long desk, with a phone in front of each of us. My phone rings and I answer it, shes on the same line so I hang up thinking "weird". It happens again, and again and a FOURTH TIME before we realize that she is calling the OFFICE NUMBER to CONFIRM one of the other two people (small office staff of three) who WORK there's appointment with her son for the next day. The mothers first name, the work number, the fact that the other line kept ringing... she didnt get it. At that point she had been working there for a few months already. My dad finally started getting upset at her and she walked out screaming "he hates me" one day.

• #20

I used to work for a company, and we had temps in our department (I even started as one, before being hired permanently). One of the temp jobs was a very monotonous data entry job. I, personally, couldn't have done it. We went through temps like crazy. Each time we got a new one in, we'd take bets on how long they'd last...some would just never return from lunch!

crossnatterser.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.disboards.com/threads/anyone-else-have-any-funny-temp-stories-from-your-job.884538/

Share this post